


The Dangers of Dating

by PerfectForAllTheWrongReasons



Series: Bethany [3]
Category: Columbine - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Bethany - Freeform, Eric Harris fanfiction, Language, bethany russell - Freeform, columbine fanfiction, glorification of criminals, threatening/violence towards a minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 13:18:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3938236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectForAllTheWrongReasons/pseuds/PerfectForAllTheWrongReasons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric Harris reveals his take on dating.<br/>Author recommends reading Bethany chapters 1-50 before viewing this short story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** The Dangers of Dating (as part of the Bethany series)  
>  **Author:** Perfect For All The Wrong Reasons  
>  **Rating:** No rating  
>  **Published:** April 2015  
>  **Chapters:** 3  
>  **Characters:** Eric Harris, Lynn Ann, Dylan Klebold  
>  **Summary:** Eric Harris reveals his take on dating.  
>  **Warnings:** A fanfic surrounding the Columbine shooter. Glorification of criminals, language, threatening/violence towards a minor  
>  **Teaser:** Lynn Ann gets a lesson on dating by none other than Eric Harris himself.  
>  ***Disclaimer:** The following is purely a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and occurrences are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner for dramatic effect. Any resemblance to real persons, living or deceased, is merely coincidental. The ideas and opinions expressed in the Bethany series do not reflect those of the author or have any bearing on the author’s day to day life. Expressed ideals are intended to be just as the story claims, fiction.  
>  **Note:** On April 20, 1999, two seniors, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold entered their high school and opened fire on their classmates and teachers killing 13 people before turning the gun on themselves. The event known as the Columbine High School Massacre has been labeled as one of the deadliest high school shootings in U.S. history. The writings of this story are in no way intended to offend or disrespect those who were involved or directly affected by this tragic event. May all 15 victims rest in peace.  
>  **Additional Note:** Author recommends reading Bethany chapters 1-50 before viewing this short story.

   She allowed the darkness to surround her, enhancing the experience all the more as soft kisses were placed along her neck. Her hands roamed the toned muscles of his arms while her mind made an effort to commit the sensation in its entirety to memory. Her breathing intensified as the words, “I love you,” were whispered into her ear. Reclining onto a pillow, she was about to return the heartfelt words with those of her own as she lay beneath him but in an instantaneous blur, all foreplay came to an untimely end as her partner was yanked backwards pulling him completely away from her. In wild confusion, she found herself struggling to process what happened, but after hearing the familiar voice in the room which did not belong to her boyfriend, she knew precisely who the mysterious third person was. “Get off of her!” came the deep, masculine and sultry voice belonging to Eric Harris. Lynn Ann switched on the light beside her bed and was dazzled when her eyes saw confirmation of the trench coat clad god standing before her. Lynn Ann refocused her attention when she heard her boyfriend Jared yelp from the current discomfort being inflicted upon him as Eric pinned him against the wall. Attempting to come out of her current stupor, Lynn Ann jumped to her feet and pleaded, “Eric, stop it!” The boy glared at Eric and then at Lynn Ann as he witnessed the captivating stare that his girlfriend continued to bestow upon Eric. “You didn’t tell me you were seeing someone else,” Jared said bitterly. “I…I’m not,” Lynn Ann said defensively. “Then who is this creep?” spat Jared. “Oh, you don’t want her to answer that, trust me,” warned Eric as he tightened his grip on the boy. “Put some clothes on,” Eric demanded noticing that Lynn Ann was standing there near topless. Jared continued to make useless attempts to free himself and as Lynn Ann threw on her shirt, she spoke again begging Eric, “Please, don’t hurt him.” Eric finally released his hold on the youth as Lynn Ann voiced a quick fib. “He’s my older brother from Colorado.” Eric smirked at the boy and made hast to suggest, “And, now that I’m here, I think its best that you leave.” Jared stared in disgust at Eric and when the boy refused to budge, Eric took only a single step towards Jared and giving him a lethal stare, he ordered in a hushed voice, “Get out.” Not having to be told twice, Jared fled from Lynn Ann’s bedroom and saw himself out of her house. Eric gave his number one admirer a scolding look before questioning, “What were you doing?” Trying to enjoy my second date,” she retorted. “That is not something you do on a second date,” he reprimanded. “Where’s your mom?” he said continuing to drill her. “She’s out with one of her friends from work. Eric, what are you doing here?” Lynn Ann said deciding to ask a question of her own. “Coming to see you,” he stated simply. “And, it looks like I was just in time too,” Eric said reaching into his trench coat only to pull out the most recent fan letter which Lynn Ann had written to him. He moodily tossed it onto her bed and with a tone much too harsh, he told the young girl, “You’ve written to me all these years and never once have you mentioned a boyfriend until now.” Lynn Ann blinked at her hero and idol and tried to hide the hopeful notion threatening to make itself known. Eric was jealous, and she was floored by this possibility simply by the fact that he was clearly acting like it. The situation continued to escalate as Eric glanced around at the empty walls of the young girl’s room and asked irritably, “Where are my pictures? And, my pillowcase?” he added noticing that it too was missing. “Oh, let me guess,” he said angrily before she could respond, “I guess you had to hide everything because we wouldn’t want Jared to see them, huh? I can see how it would be awkward to make out with him while you’re laying on a pillow with my picture on it.” Feeling as if he were not being fair, Lynn Ann told him defensively, “Well, maybe you should’ve called first.” This sentence visibly hurt Eric, and after seeing the disappointment in his eyes, Lynn Ann quickly apologized to him. “I’m sorry.” Eric turned his back to her and admitted with a hint of sarcasm, “I would hope that I wouldn’t have to make arrangements to see my number one fan.” “Of course not,” she told him softly. “Then you can imagine my shock when I came here to surprise you just to find some low life drooling all over you.” Not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, Lynn Ann approached Eric and questioned, “Are you…jealous?” “No,” he replied much too quickly. “I wouldn’t call it that exactly,” he stated matter of fact. “Then what do you call it?” she dared ask. Eric turned to face the young blonde and it was now his turn to apologize. “Lynn Ann, I’m sorry. I know you’re just doing normal stuff that seventeen year olds do, but you have to understand where I’m coming from.” Lynn Ann gave Eric her full attention and listened intently as he attempted to explain his feelings. “You’ve been following me since you were fifteen. Of course, I never met you until recently, but even when I did, I felt like I already knew you. I’ve watched you grow up on paper so to speak from all the letters you’ve sent me, and I’ve come to be…protective over you.” Eric watched Lynn Ann as she processed his words to her. Knowing she had no father around, it became quite easy for Eric to equate himself as being a male role model to the girl, albeit he was far from the ideal persona being that he was a killer. “When you sent me that letter,” continued Eric as he gazed at the note on her bed, “I realized just how close to being an adult you are now. I also realized how serious you were about this guy…I just didn’t know _how_ serious,” Eric admitted in a quiet voice. Lynn Ann rested her hand on Eric’s arm and told him with fervor, “I never meant to upset you and I’m sorry.” “It’s not your fault,” he reluctantly revealed knowing it was entirely true. “Just do me a favor from now on?” “Yes,” she said waiting to hear his request. “Let me meet the guy first.” An amused smile broke out on Lynn Ann’s face as she repeated, “ _You_ …meet him?” Eric nodded with a confident smile. “Well, okay,” she replied in a doubtful tone. He further explained the conditions by saying, “If, and when the time comes that you have an interest in dating somebody, let me meet him first. If I approve, then you can date him.” Eric folded his arms at his chest and Lynn Ann, being the young innocent girl that she was, declared, “Anything for you, Eric.”


	2. Chapter 2

   Although he resided in Colorado, distance was no obstacle for Eric Harris because he meant precisely what he had said regarding Lynn Ann and her love life. He was about to become fully involved where dating was concerned and he took the task very seriously not wanting her to be with any male whom he felt would be unworthy. One warm mild afternoon, Eric arrived at Lynn Ann’s house while taking in a full breath of the California air and after removing his trench coat, he settled into position on the living room sofa and waited patiently as Lynn Ann answered the front door. A tall, well dressed boy her same age entered, and after previously being instructed to do so by Eric, Lynn Ann excused herself into another part of the house allowing Eric to be alone with the young boy. “Have a seat,” began Eric. “What’s your name?” he asked playing the role of Lynn Ann’s older brother from Colorado. “Brandon,” he replied taking a seat in a nearby chair. “So, you go to school with Lynn Ann?” continued Eric. “Yes sir,” answered the boy politely. Eric eyed him suspiciously and asked, “Do you like school, Brandon?” “Oh yeah,” he responded with enthusiasm. “What are your plans after graduation?” Eric asked as if he were interrogating the poor boy. “Well, I’m not sure just yet,” he admitted. Eric glared at Brandon and responded, “So, you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up?” It was every boy’s worst nightmare, but instead of dealing with an overbearing father, Brandon was being faced with trying to secretly impress the Columbine shooter. “Well, actually,” Brandon began leaning forward in his chair, “I have kind of always wanted to be an actor. I know Lynn Ann does some acting on the side, and I’m hoping she can hook me up with her agent and possibly get me an audition in the near future.” Brandon had not completely finished his sentence when Eric stood to his feet and declared in a disappointed tone, “You know, I just remembered, me and Lynn Ann were supposed to visit our grandma today. Maybe we can finish this some other time,” suggested Eric as he opened the front door. “Oh, well…okay sure,” agreed Brandon a bit confused. Eric smiled cordially as Brandon exited and then he loudly slammed the door shut behind the boy while cursing. Lynn Ann came rushing into the room upon hearing the door close and with wide eyes she looked to Eric for an exploitation. “No,” he declared simply. “Eric, he wasn’t even here ten minutes,” Lynn Ann pointed out. “I don’t care,” voiced Eric. “He’s using you.” “What!” exclaimed Lynn Ann clearly missing something. “If he wants to start acting, then he can make his own connections to get into the business without your help.” “So much for the first attempt with Eric’s involvement,” Lynn Ann thought to herself. It was not off to a good start, and a month passed by to which Lynn Ann found herself in a similar setting with Eric making a point to visit upon her announcing a new love interest. Using the same cover story as before, Eric readied himself and with enthusiasm, he smiled charmingly at Lynn Ann. “Be nice,” she pleaded as she moved to answer the front door. Eric sat confidently along the sofa stretching himself out in a casual manner. “Hey, Tyler,” greeted Lynn Ann as she allowed the boy to enter. “This is Eric, my brother from Colorado.” Eric had purposely laid his gun within clear sight on a nearby table and as Tyler came into better view, Eric pointed to the weapon using it as an opening to their conversation. “Hello Tyler. What do you think about this?” Eric asked in riddle-like fashion. The boy stared at the firearm as if it were a poisonous snake and adamantly responded, “Oh, my parents taught me never to play with guns, so I don’t particularly like them much. Weapons can be dangerous, and I’m against all forms of violence.” Eric jumped to his feet, grabbed Tyler by the shirt collar while opening the front door, and forcefully shoved him back outside. “Pussy!” Eric yelled while slamming the door. Lynn Ann stood in a confounded daze, stunned as she watched Eric discard her second dating interest in under thirty seconds. “Please explain what just happened,” she demanded placing her hand upon her hip. “The first thing you should know is that I forbid you to date a guy who doesn’t like guns. Need I say more?” Eric said with sarcasm. “The fact that he claims to be nonviolent is code that should anything ever happen, he would be unable to protect you, and I won’t have it.” Eric was so upset that Lynn Ann knew better than to debate the situation as his mind was already made up. Several weeks later, and just in time for the approaching prom at her high school, Lynn Ann phoned Eric to tell him about yet another potential boyfriend. Eric arrived as scheduled to meet the hopeful young boy by the name of Mark who not only had an interest in dating Lynn Ann, but was also planning on escorting her to their high school prom. Eric sighed as he heard the knock at the door announcing the arrival of yet another would be loser, but upon first impression, Eric was a little caught off guard. Mark seemed to have Eric’s taste in clothing, and he even portrayed a few of Eric’s mannerisms given the way in which he strutted into the room. Eric smiled skeptically, but remained open minded nonetheless and offered the boy a seat. “Where do you live, Mark?” Eric said as the opening question for the evening. “Here in Sherman Oaks,” he responded. “What type of music do you like?” questioned Eric just to see if his assumption was correct. “Industrial metal,” Mark answered with a boyish grin much like Eric’s. “Hmm.” Eric rubbed his chin as if in deep concentration. “Cool coat!” Mark exclaimed upon seeing Eric’s duster hanging on the back of the chair. “Can I?” the boy asked reaching for the long black coat. “Help yourself,” offered Eric. Mark slipped on Eric’s coat and declared, “Oh, I have got to get me one of these.” Growing more and more fond of Mark by the minute, Eric continued to make small talk with the youth, taking notice of how many similarities there were between the two of them. The television caught Mark’s attention as an avid politician who was airing on a popular primetime station declared the pressing need for better and additional gun control laws. “I feel that everybody should own a gun,” advised Mark. We have the right to bear arms, so everybody should fucking do it. Oh sorry,” Mark said excusing his off colored language. Eric looked at Mark as if he had found the lost treasure of Atlantis. The boy had all the attitude and charisma of Eric Harris himself, and having no further questions, Eric said, “Well, I know you came to see Lynn Ann, so I’ll let you have some time alone with her.” Lynn Ann was standing just around the corner and could not believe her ears when she heard Eric verbally give his consent of Mark in so many words. Like most things in life, however, Eric’s obsessive compulsive behavior got the best of him, and his need to be absolutely certain concerning the idea of Lynn Ann dating Mark, prompted Eric to arrange one more meeting with the boy. Less than a week later, and after contemplating the situation further, Eric dialed Lynn Ann and proposed an utterly different idea. “Lynn Ann,” he said sweetly over the phone. “I want to talk to Mark again, but I think we need a different approach this time.” “How so?” she asked curiously. “Well, I’ll admit that I really like him, but think about it,” continued Eric. “I’m assumed to be your older brother, so what idiot is really going to act like an asshole in front of the brother of the girl that he likes?” Lynn Ann understood the truth behind what Eric was saying and asked him, “Well, what should we do then?” Eric paused and in a deep voice dripping with mischief, he instructed, “Call him. Have him come over again this Friday night.” When the day arrived, Lynn Ann found herself greeting not only Eric into her home, but also his best friend, Dylan Klebold. “What’s up?” Dylan asked with his usual upbeat and pleasant personality. Lynn Ann grinned curiously while she attempted to guess at what Eric had in store by bringing Dylan with him. “Okay, what am I doing again?” questioned Dylan. “You’re the next door neighbor,” Eric said impatiently as though he had already explained this a hundred times. “Oh, okay,” Dylan said in a goofy voice. “Lynn Ann, I want you to act just like you normally would. Be sure to apologize, and tell Mark that your brother couldn’t make it. Dylan, do just like I told you to, and Lynn Ann, you just play along,” Eric said looking back to her. She nodded although she was unsure of just what to be prepared for, but she figured she would just go with the flow and hope for the best. Lynn Ann watched Dylan quietly exit out the back door after hearing a knock at the front entrance. In her peripheral vision she watched Eric slink around the corner and remain in the next room as Mark said hello and made his way inside. “Hey,” Lynn Ann said sweetly while hugging him. “I’m glad you could come over again,” she began, “I’m sorry, but my brother had something unexpected come up, so he couldn’t be here this time.” “Well, no big deal,” replied Mark. “Be sure to tell him hello for me.” “I will,” Lynn Ann assured with a smile. The couple sat down on the sofa and made idle chit chat for several minutes until they were interrupted by someone noisily coming through the front door. “Oh hey, sorry,” Dylan said loudly. “Lynn Ann, I didn’t know you’d be home. You’re mom said the front door would be unlocked and to go on inside.” Dylan pretended to be awkward, although it was not without difficulty, and upon seeing that Lynn Ann had company, Dylan extended his hand and in an apologetic voice, he said, “Oh, sorry, I’m Dylan, Lynn Ann’s neighbor. I live next door.” Mark gave Dylan an odd look while shaking his hand, and continuing to speak, Dylan asked, “Where’s that clogged drain that you’re mom wanted me to fix?” “In…the…kitchen,” Lynn Ann replied slowly. “Well, I have some work to do, but it was nice to meet you,” Dylan told Mark politely. Lynn Ann scratched the back of her head and gave a light hearted laugh. “My neighbor, he um…he’s different. “Yeah, and goofy too,” chuckled Mark looking over his shoulder as Dylan disappeared towards the kitchen. “Well, anyways,” Lynn Ann said turning their attention back to matters at hand. She had no sooner started a conversation about the upcoming prom when she was suddenly interrupted by her phone ringing. Looking at the familiar number, Lynn Ann stood to her feet and assumed this was what Eric had meant by playing along. “Hello,” she greeted feeling somewhat unsure of herself. “You’re doing fine,” she heard Eric whisper into the phone. “I want you to tell him that it’s your brother and you need to take the call.” Lynn Ann lowered the phone from her ear and revealed, “It’s my brother. He said it’s important, so if you’ll excuse me for just a minute.” Mark gave her a smile and responded in a pleasant voice, “Yeah, no problem. Take your time.” “I’ll be right back,” Lynn Ann promised, pretending to continue the phone conversation with her _brother_ until she vanished from sight and into the next room. Eric took her by the arm and silently gestured for her to follow him. “Shhh,” he whispered with a devilish grin. Dylan stomped loudly back into the living room and commented, “Well, I’m going to need something to get that drain unclogged like one of those things…you know a…uh…” Mark observed the obvious gesture that Dylan continued to make in front of him as he finished the sentence by offering the answer. “A plunger?” “Yeah, that!” shouted Dylan obnoxiously while whacking himself across the head as if to indicate the answer was so simple yet he failed to recall the common household item. “So, you go to school with Lynn Ann?” continued Dylan, stopping for a short break from his task in the kitchen. “Yeah,” Mark said in a bored tone indicating his disinterest in talking. Despite this, Dylan continued. “I’m Lynn Ann’s age, and in her same grade, but my mom homeschools me.” This shed light on so much,” Mark thought to himself thinking that homeschooled kids always seemed weird. “She talks about you all the time,” Dylan teased in an exaggerated voice. Mark raised his eyebrows with interest and stated, “Oh, yeah? Well, what does she…say?” he asked in a mischievous voice. Dylan motioned for Mark to follow him and in a quiet voice he said, “Come with me to the kitchen and I’ll tell you.” Mark looked around as he quickly settled on a decision. “Alright, but hurry before she comes back,” prompted Mark thinking that Lynn Ann was in her room. Hearing his cue, Eric crept from the room in which he stood waiting, and moved closer towards the kitchen until almost reaching its entrance. He could clearly hear the conversation underway as Dylan began in a shy voice. “Well, you know?” he began trying not to sound embarrassed. “She talks all the time about you and her…you know?” “What’s the matter?” Mark asked taking delight in Dylan’s fake _“good boy”_ persona. “I don’t want to just…come out and say it.” Mark chuckled and decided to take over the discussion by proclaiming, “Well if you won’t say it then I will. I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s all I think about. As a matter of fact, I’m hoping she’ll just want to skip the stupid prom next weekend, and let me fuck her already.” It was as though someone had just declared war as a fearsome growl roared around Mark and all senses evaded him as Eric slammed him against the wall. With a gun pressed to his cheek, Mark would come to find that he would forever be haunted by the words spilling from the mouth of Eric Harris as he warned, “If you ever come near her again, to include even looking at her in school, I will blow your goddamn fucking head off!” As much as she adored the boy, Lynn Ann knew that what just happened spelled the end of her relationship with Mark as she watched him bolt from her house in a panicked frenzy. “You know, Eric,” Dylan began, always needing to give his opinion. “You can’t sit there and deny that you weren’t thinking the same thing when you were seventeen. Hell, even now I think like that, and I’m twenty,” confessed Dylan. Eric shot his friend a nasty look as Lynn Ann stood before them. Dylan was not helping the situation, and it was evident when Lynn Ann sided with Dylan by saying, “Yeah, Eric. Mark’s just a normal seventeen year old boy. So what if he wants to…” “No!” shouted Eric. “I don’t care, you’re not going out with him.” Lynn Ann huffed and pouted like a typical teenager. Eric Harris was the equivalent of a concerned father, dangerous body guard, and possessive, jealous boyfriend all rolled into one. “This is what we’re going to do,” began Eric regaining his composure. “What is it that _we_ are going to do?” Lynn Ann sharply asked, although she feared what Eric was going to suggest did not involve her input in any way, shape, or form. “I’ll pick the guy myself.” Taken aback, Lynn Ann gasped and exclaimed, “Are you serious?” The determined demeanor which Eric held told her that he certainly was not joking. “But, you don’t know anyone here in LA!” she pointed out in a high pitched voice. “How are you ever going to find someone?” “That’s for me to worry about,” replied Eric, and after only one week, Eric paid a visit to Lynn Ann, and as she sat on the living room sofa, she wringed her hands together in anxious anticipation as Eric told her that he had found her a proper boyfriend. Moving calmly in front of her, Eric stood confidently in the middle of the living room and smiled. Lynn Ann blinked at him as if she were missing something and declared, “Well, where is this awesome boyfriend?” Eric tilted his head and being sure to show off his adorable dimples, he told her, “You’re looking at him.” It was a good thing that Lynn Ann was sitting down because she would have toppled over no doubt, from the shock of Eric’s suggestion. “I’m going to date you,” he clarified, making Lynn Ann both nervous, excited, and mesmerized all at the same time.


	3. Chapter 3

   Having previously set a day and time, Eric arrived early for the prearranged first date with his number one fan. He entered her home after Lynn Ann invited him in and continued to wait patiently for her in the living room. “You can come back here if you’d like,” he heard Lynn Ann call from her bedroom. He sighed and began the rigorous challenge of schooling the young girl on proper dating techniques. Eric headed in the direction of Lynn Ann’s voice and began by saying, “A decent boyfriend should wait in the living room at all times and should never go to your bedroom on a first date.” Lynn Ann smiled sheepishly at him and as she turned around, she lost her focus entirely upon seeing the disheartening stare which Eric gave her. “You’ve lost your mind if you think I’m letting you go out wearing that,” he said in reference to her clingy, low cut blouse. “You don’t like it?” she asked innocently. “No,” Eric said simply. “Well, I do, but not for a first date,” he emphasized. “Well, I don’t know what to wear, then. I don’t have anything else,” she confessed in a discouraged voice. Never understanding why all girls state that they have nothing to wear while hoarding numerous amounts of clothes in their closet, Eric fished through the racks of hanging garments until eventually making a selection. “Here,” he said handing her an oversized cotton shirt. “That!” exclaimed Lynn Ann in horror. “Eric, that looks like something my grandmother would wear! I usually throw it on just around the house when it’s laundry day,” she told him truthfully. “Well, it can be your dating outfit for today,” he declared stubbornly. Turning his back, Eric waited as Lynn Ann slipped on the loose fitting, frumpy excuse for a shirt, and once she was decent again, he nodded approvingly at her and the fact that the shirt completely hid her ever developing female curves. “Now then,” he said indicating that he was satisfied, “Are you ready to go?” “One more thing,” she replied grabbing a tube of lipstick followed by a bottle of mascara. “No, no, no,” Eric said shaking his head while confiscating the cosmetics. “You’re seventeen, not twenty-five, so you don’t have any business looking like it.” “But…” she began, but Eric interrupted Lynn Ann’s attempt to protest and said in a promising voice, “A good date will appreciate you no matter what you look like and if he doesn’t then get rid of him. I like you just the way you are without all that gaudy face paint.” Eric flashed Lynn Ann his best smile and waited for her to exit her room. She grabbed her purse and moved to open the front door, but was stopped from being able to do so. “Never open doors,” he instructed. “That’s what guys do. Well, good ones anyways.” Lynn Ann gave Eric a smug look and allowed him to proceed. Her excitement over dating Eric Harris was beginning to be masked by his constant need to lecture her on proper dating essentials. Being sure not to warrant further scolding, she stood next to Eric’s car and waited for him to open the door for her. As they sped along the busy highway, Lynn Ann attempted to engage in a common gesture of dating. She wanted to both enjoy the sensation and have the satisfaction of holding hands with Eric, but apparently, he did not have this on their to do list for the evening. “No physical contact,” he said sternly. If a boy contradicts this rule before you even arrive at your destination then he’s a for sure loser, so dump him.” Lynn Ann committed this to memory as well, and after arriving at the local movie theatre, Eric decided to throw a curve ball in his previous lesson as he explained a situation currently underway. As they stood in line for tickets, Eric nodded in the direction of two young boys. “See them over there?” he asked Lynn Ann. “Yeah,” she said while trying not to seem obvious that she was gazing in their direction. “They keep staring at you, and more than likely, they’re trying to figure out what my relationship is to you. They see us talking, but they don’t know if I’m your good friend, serious boyfriend, brother, or cousin from out of town.” Eric protectively put his arm around Lynn Ann causing the young girl to go weak at the knees. “Now, keep watching,” Eric instructed as he continued to eye the two males. Like a pair of timid kittens, both boys turned away and began the same gawking routine, but with another female standing nearby. Eric smiled triumphantly and explained his theory. "By putting my arm around you, it shows that you’re mine, and not up for grabs. A good boyfriend won’t be thrilled by other guys staring at you. He should put his arm around you only as a way to tell others to back off. This is the only time that the no physical contact rule should be broken,” stated Eric in a precise tone of voice. Eric led Lynn Ann into the dark, barely lit theatre. She pulled him towards the back aisle of seats, but Eric tugged in the opposite direction and said for good measure, “Movie theatres are for just that, watching movies. A guy should never bring you to one for any other reason. If he doesn’t agree to sit in the very front row, then he has bad intentions, so forget him.” Lynn Ann rolled her eyes in mock fashion as she settled into the empty row of seats lining the direct front and center of the theater. “Would you like me to get you anything? A drink, popcorn?” offered Eric. “A drink would be good,” Lynn Ann said in agreement. Eric pretended to search for his wallet making way for Lynn Ann to fall into his deceitful trap. “Here, it’s okay. I’ll get it,” she offered opening her purse. Eric gently shook his head, and with a frown, he advised, “Never pay for anything. A guy who can’t afford a date is a guy who’s broke. You don’t need the responsibility of supporting him financially, so avoid this type like the plague.” After the film, Eric took Lynn Ann to dinner, and after being seated at their table, Eric sighed heavily and rolled his eyes in boredom at the party of three, twenty something year old females seated next to them. They were rapidly discussing a topic which coincidentally remained the central theme to Lynn Ann’s evening with Eric which was the subject of boys. Eric nodded at them and asked, “Do you hear what’s wrong with that whole conversation?” Lynn Ann shrugged her shoulders unsure of what the answer could be to this. “They’re talking about some poor guy who one of them dated, and the girl with the broken heart is asking each one of her friends where she went wrong in the relationship. If she really wanted to know the answer to that, she’d ask the _guy’s_ friends, not hers,” enlightened Eric. “If you really want to know something about a guy, ask his friends. Hang around them, see what they tell you, and if for any reason the boy you’re dating never takes you around his friends, then it’s a sign that he’s hiding something.” Lynn Ann discretely attempted to cover a yawn that escaped her, and after three hours alone with Eric, she was finding that, unlike earlier preconceived ideas, she was beginning to notice just how exhausting it was, in fact, to date Eric Harris. “Seeing her become tired, Eric asked, “Should I order this to go for you?” Lynn Ann nodded her consent, and while checking the time, Eric explained, “A good boyfriend doesn’t keep you out late. As a matter of fact, he should have you home by midnight. Nothing good ever happens after midnight. Always remember that. I know this because TCM tends to start doing business around midnight, so take my word on this.” Lynn Ann left the restaurant with Eric, and after arriving at home, she quickly became more alert upon seeing her mother lounging in the living room. “There you are,” she greeted smiling at her daughter. “I knew you were going out tonight, but I didn’t know with whom,” she said turning to smile at Eric, remembering him from his last visit. “Hello,” Eric said politely. “We just went for dinner and a movie,” Eric said showing his tendency towards honesty as yet another lesson for Lynn Ann to take to heart. “Isn’t Eric a little old for you to be dating?” questioned Lynn Ann’s mother knowing the three year age difference between Eric and her daughter. “Yes, I am,” Eric said in agreement. He continued to smile sweetly while saying, “I thought it would be a good idea for Lynn Ann to go on a date with someone older and more mature so that she’ll know what to look for in a well behaved, decent boyfriend.” Eric won instant approval from Lynn Ann’s mother as she voiced her appreciation of such a traditional approach. “Well, honey, that’s so thoughtful of Eric to take it upon himself to do this for you.” Lynn Ann gave her mother a forced smile before wearily excusing herself to her room. As expected, Eric followed her in order to finish off his speech for the evening. Lynn Ann dropped her purse onto the floor and sat down on her bed while she listened to what remained of Eric’s continued words of wisdom. “An ideal boyfriend will get along with your parents, no questions asked. If he doesn’t, then there’s a good chance that he won’t get along with you either.” “…so get rid ofhim,” finished Lynn Ann, having heard the phrase more times than she could count. “Exactly, get rid of him,” repeated Eric with a firm nod. “He better have a good relationship with your mom, but more importantly, he should have a better one with his own. I don’t have time to take you to Colorado to meet my mom, but if I did, you’d find out in about ten seconds that I love her, and respect her. Any guy who doesn’t respect the woman who gave him life won’t respect you either, and in the best words to describe this, he’s a jerk, plain and simple, so don’t waste your time on him.” “Eric?” Lynn Ann said in a soft voice. Her date with Eric was purely unconventional to say the least, but it did not stop Lynn Ann from trying her hand at one more request. “Are you going to give me a goodnight kiss?” She already knew the answer to this, as well as the oncoming sermon which was sure to follow as Eric crossed his arms at his chest in an irritable manner. “Kissing is not to be done on a first date. After, oh…I’d say around date number five, it’s okay for him to kiss your hand. On the tenth date, he can kiss you on the cheek,” finished Eric with a grin. Lynn Ann made a disappointed face and prompted, “Well…?” “Well, what?” asked Eric as if the conversation was no longer up for discussion. “We can talk more about this again when you’re twenty-five,” he recommended. “Are you finished lecturing me?” she teased. “No.” Eric grew serious before giving his last and final words of advice to Lynn Ann. “If you’re ever on a date and you’re unsure about anything else, then call and ask _me_.” Lynn Ann giggled uncontrollably, but she gradually contained her outburst as she took notice at the way in which Eric stared at her. He gazed upon the young girl who seemed to be growing up before his very eyes. “Lynn Ann,” he began in a quiet voice, “I have to admit, I tried to make our date seem boring on purpose. You don’t want to date me,” he said softly. Lynn Ann blinked wistfully at none other than the Columbine shooter himself standing in the middle of her room and watched as his eyes became glassy. “The truth…is that I don’t want you to date. I want things to be like they always were with you writing fan mail and falling all over me.” Lynn Ann shyly hid her smile and said in assurance, “Just because I’m growing up doesn’t mean that my feelings towards you have changed. “I’m just at an age where I want someone to talk to, have fun with, and share my time with. “Then, I’ll buy you a puppy,” offered Eric, but after receiving the negative reaction in body language from Lynn Ann, he thought of another alternative. “Maybe a pony,” he suggested knowing how all girls seem to want a horse at some phase in their life. “Eric, I’m not four,” Lynn Ann said through a laugh. “I’m sorry, I meant to say a unicorn,” he joked. Lynn Ann loved his sense of humor and practically everything else about the famed killer standing in front of her. “Please don’t take my pictures down again or hide my pillow,” he begged in a sad voice. “I promise I won’t,” she told him sweetly. Showing a rare side of himself that he usually chose to keep hidden, Eric dropped to his knees before the girl whom he called his number one fan and tilted his head downwards. Eric contemplated his words before speaking, and with glowing hazel eyes swimming with untold feeling and emotion, he looked at her and whispered, “I love you, Lynn. And, because I do, I need to let you be free to make your own choices without me interfering.” Lynn Ann’s heart and pulse raced wildly out of control as she remained silent and listened to the last of Eric’s words. “When you go on your next date with whoever he might be, maybe its best…if I don’t know about it. Remember everything I told you, and if anybody ever hurts you, or breaks your heart..…I will kill them.” Her breath was caught in her chest making it difficult to inhale. She could no longer resist the urge to touch him, and timidly reaching out as if to pet an untamed lion, Lynn Ann gently caressed Eric’s cheek before sweeping her fingers through his hair. Capturing her wrist, he placed a single kiss along the front side of her hand before standing to his feet. Eric’s phone began to ring and in typical Eric style humor, he sighed heavily and announced, “I have to go. The great state of Colorado is calling…and probably Dylan, too…and Chris, and Nate, and Robyn, Brooks, too, Robert, maybe even Julian, Matt for sure, hopefully _not_ Mandy, but definitely my mom…don’t forgot what I told you about moms…” he reminded in a disciplinary manner. “And, I bet that stupid cat misses me enough that he’s probably calling for me too…”

 *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

_-Lynn Ann made several attempts to date, but somehow, Eric managed to find out by ending several of her endeavors with men fleeing in fear for their life, and one unlucky gentleman in particular, whose strange disappearance remains an ongoing mystery. Her continued display of posing with Eric Harris photographs and the infamous pillowcase are often mistaken as a desperate means to gain attention when in fact, it is Lynn Ann’s way of continuing to keep her promise to Eric by never removing the items from her day to day life. Today, even at age thirty, Lynn Ann remains single, some say by her choice, while others believe it is solely due to Eric Harris and his possessive tendencies towards her. In Eric’s eyes, no one is good enough for his Lynn Ann, and it is with this thought, that he continues to date her himself from time to time in secret._

_-Perfect For All The Wrong Reasons_


End file.
